Last August marked my 10th anniversary of moving to Scotland. This means that I have had the privilege of spending about a third of my life in this beautiful country, and I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else (apart from Italy, naturally).
There are, however, a few things that I wish someone would have told me about Scotland before moving here and making a twat of myself in several occasions. Indulge me, as I list them down here to prevent you ( non-native Scottish pals) from making my same mistakes:
- Do not call a Scottish person English. It’s simply not the same.
- Do not try to keep up with the drinks. You won’t. Scottish people are way more skilled than yourself at drinking themselves into oblivion and still walk home, eat a kebab, and survive the morning after. Put that drink down (never a good sign, if you have forgotten what number of pint this is..), get yourself a cab and go home. Things are about to get ugly.
- Not all rains are the same. There is, in fact, a wide array of denominations for the most recurring atmospheric condition in this part of the world. For example, today is Dreich, not merely raining.
- For the love of all that’s holy, buy yourself some sensible waterproof clothing. This is not the place for suede (RIP, many a pair of Italian suede shoes).
- Do not enter a greasy spoon asking for a Full English breakfast. There is no such thing, once you’ve crossed the border.
- On the same note, do not ask for an Oat Decaf Latte in the same establishment.
- Nor, a glass of wine in a pub, unless you have seen them open the bottle in front of you. Nobody likes a vinegar hangover.
- Leave the house prepared for at least four seasons in a day, and most definitely forget that umbrella, unless you have a very sturdy and powerful windshield.
- Forget about what it is and eat that Haggis. You will love it ( and it might help you sustain a longer night out – see point 2).
- Stock up on Vitamin D supplements!! Summer? What summer?
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